


Happiness is a Warm Gun (You’re the Trigger)

by css1992



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aged-Up Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-05-30 15:31:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19406164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/css1992/pseuds/css1992
Summary: Tony is a married man and a father, Peter is a College student who couldn't help falling in love with him.--*--Tony’s invitation to see the lab had seemed so innocent at first, Peter would never have guessed the Tony Stark would find him attractive, so he assumed he had just taken pity on him because he kept rambling about how awesome he thought his work was. Yet, as soon as they walked inside the lab – his personal lab, Peter noted giddily – the younger man barely had time to check out the first work bench when Tony grabbed him by the waist and threw him against a wall.Tony, who was a married man, a playboy known for his “sexcapades” and for cheating on his wife with supermodels and pop singers and up and coming young actors and actresses. As his mind cleared, he realized that of course he hadn’t meant anything he said during sex. Of course he didn’t think Peter was beautiful or perfect, he was just saying whatever came to mind in the heat of the moment.





	1. PART I

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again!  
> This is my second fic in this fandom, I really hope you enjoy it. If you do, be sure to check out my first fic, if you haven't yet, and send me your thoughts, please!  
> Kudos and comments are deeply appreciated <3  
> P.s.: This gets a little sad in the middle, but I promise I'm all about happy endings, Peter and Tony have suffered more than enough in the movies. Lol.

**04/21/2016 - 2 years and 03 months**

“Will I see you again anytime soon?” The boy closed his eyes as he felt the older man’s calloused fingers caressing his face, right before they ran through his hair, messing up the curls that already looked wild after that evening’s activities. Their lips met, softly, for brief seconds, and the boy melted into the older man’s chest, holding himself up by placing his hands on his shoulders. “I miss you already.”

“I miss you too, baby.” Tony brushed his thumb over the young man’s cheekbone, smiling softly at him. “I don’t know when we can meet again, but I’ll call you, ok?”

“Not good enough, Tony.” Peter opened his eyes to look into Tony’s brown, warm ones, but he looked back with something akin to regret, a sad half smile on his lips.

“It’s all I got, kid.”

Peter sighed quietly in disappointment, but he tried not to let it show. He knew he couldn’t make any demands, he had gotten himself into that situation, so he couldn’t really complain about it. He took whatever the older man could offer him, even if most of the time he ended up with only crumbs of his affection and scraps of his time.

He looked into Tony’s eyes and tried to satisfy himself with whatever he thought he could see there – the older man wouldn’t tell him. There was an unspoken agreement between them, one of silence. Peter figured out, early on, that not only the older man didn’t want to talk about his own feelings, he didn’t want to hear about Peter’s either. Nevertheless, he was always affectionate and sweet, the younger man felt – he wouldn’t dare say _loved_ , but – cared for, and that had to suffice.

He sighed again, defeated, and kissed the older man’s lips one more time, slowly, heartfeltly, and then pulled away.

“Just don’t take too long, ok? One of these days I might actually forget about you, old man.” He had a half smile on his face, but they both knew it wasn’t sincere.

“I know, I worry about it all the time, kid.” The older man smirked, running one hand through the soft curls again, before he kissed his forehead. “See you later, underoos.” Peter rolled his eyes, muttering _“one time!”_ as the older man left, laughing and probably thinking about their first time together when Peter had been wearing, regrettably, well… Spider-man themed underwear. In his defense, he had no idea whatsoever that he would end up sleeping with Tony Stark.

 _I love you, Tony, I’m gonna miss you, please don’t go._ Those words were left unsaid as Peter waved at the older man’s back, watching him head towards the elevator. He just took a deep breath and went back inside.

\--x--

**01/23/2014 – 0 Day**

They had met in a dancing studio, of all places. Neither of them was dancing, though – Peter was working the desk and Tony was picking up his _daughter_.

When Peter was a kid, he used to take ballet classes at a fancy dance studio in Manhattan, where May used to teach. He was only able to go there because the owner became close to May and she let Peter take his aunt’s classes for free. He really enjoyed it, at first, but when he turned twelve he decided to quit because some boys in his class found out about it and the teen just couldn’t take the bullying and the teasing.

When he turned eighteen, he got a full ride scholarship to NYU; coincidentally, around the same time, May’s boyfriend moved in with her, so Peter felt like it was time to be on his own – and also time to let his aunt live a little, she had dedicated more than ten years of her life to taking care of him. He moved into the dorms and got a job at said dance studio with May’s help – the owner tried to convince Peter to go back to dancing and he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he grew up to be an uncoordinated and gangly teenager with no sense of rhythm whatsoever, so he just told her he didn’t have the time. Sadly. He also got a second job at a coffee shop and he worked some shifts in a restaurant on the weekends, earning _just_ enough to support himself and pay rent in a tiny apartment close to campus after his first year in the dorms.

Almost four years later, Peter was lying on the carpeted floor of the reception area of the dance studio, coloring a dinosaur with little Morgan Stark, because her class had been over for almost an hour and her nanny hadn’t shown up yet. Peter was alone, he was supposed to close the dance studio that day and he couldn’t wait to go home, he was so tired. He considered calling Morgan’s parents and amused himself with the thought that maybe Tony Stark would pick up and they would have a long, nerdy conversation about engineering, physics, maybe even biochemistry, and in the end Mr. Stark would be so impressed by his brilliance that maybe he would ask him out and _– Yeah, right. As if._

Suddenly, said billionaire showed up in the studio, looking flustered and out of breath, and Peter stopped in the middle of coloring a purple pterodactyl, mouth hanging open, shocked out of his mind. As soon as the billionaire walked in, the little girl got up and ran towards him, arms flailing, squealing _“daddy, daddy!”._

Peter couldn’t believe his eyes, as he got up slowly, trying to smooth down his rumpled clothes and his wild hair – Morgan had been trying to braid it, before he convinced her that they should do something else. It really was Tony Fucking Stark – and he was even more handsome and elegant in person. Peter felt incredibly underdressed, even though they were merely in the reception area of a dance studio at 7pm on a Wednesday – he didn’t really think there was a dress code for that, but – _Tony Stark!_

The young man was flustered, he wanted to walk up to him and say hi, maybe introduce himself; he was such a huge fan of the man’s work and he had just written a paper about his research on clean energy just one week prior. He couldn’t muster up the courage, though, and Tony just waved at him politely, barely even acknowledging him, before walking away, listening to his daughter babble.

That was the first time he saw Tony at the studio, the second time was only three weeks later – the man arrived there early and spent almost ten minutes watching Morgan’s class through the glass window on the door, a silly smile on his face, hands clasped behind his back. Again, Peter didn’t have the guts to walk up and talk to him, he just watched from afar, thinking that he was seeing a very private side of the older man.

The man who was always on the news was a hard-ass, relentless CEO, who led his company with an iron fist after Obadiah Stane, his former mentor and father figure, was fired and arrested for selling weapons on the black market. After that, Tony decided to shut down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries and led the company in a different direction – towards clean energy, artificial intelligence and electronics. Years later, he got married to Sunset Bain, CEO of Baintronics, and had a daughter, little Morgan Stark, who actually thought Peter was Spider-man and kept asking him to jump off the rooftop – no matter how many times he tried to explain he wasn’t the same Peter Parker from the comics.

It was only on Tony’s third visit that Peter was finally able to talk to him – he stuttered something along the lines of “Hi-hello, Mr. Stark, s-sir! I’m Peter. Peter Parker. I’m a huge fan of your work, sir, just the other day I wrote a paper about the arc reactor for school – and it’s literally the coolest thing ever, sir, I can’t wait for it to start operating in the headquarters back in L.A. I’m also super into J.A.R.V.I.S, by the way! It sounds brilliant, I wish it could run my whole life – specially my school life and my schedule, you know, it can get _really_ messy...” And then he babbled for at least fifteen minutes about how he was a huge fan and how fantastic everything Tony ever did was, and how honored he was to meet him. Tony was very polite and attentive, he smiled charmingly at Peter and told him that he could have a tour of his lab if he wanted, which – Peter was freaking out. “Yes, s-sir, I would like that very, very much!”

\-----

Peter knew it was wrong – so, so wrong. His aunt May would be devastated if she ever found out, his uncle Ben would have been so disappointed if he had still been alive, Ned and MJ would never approve of that, they would definitely try to knock some sense into him – but as he felt the older man’s hands running over his naked skin under his shirt; his hard-on rubbing against his belly, as his whole body pressed Peter’s firmly against the cold, hard wall, he couldn’t care less.

Tony’s tongue demanded entrance in his mouth and Peter let it in willingly – at that point, he’d probably let Tony take whatever he wanted. And he did. Tony was strong and clearly experienced, his fast hands traveled Peter’s whole body in a way that left his skin tingling wherever he touched. He kneaded his ass, squeezed his hips, his thighs, as he kissed him hungrily and greedly. He was completely in control, and Peter didn’t know that about himself until that moment, but he was _really_ into it. He let Tony grab him by the thighs and lift him up, forcing him to wrap his legs around the taller man’s torso, and moaned loudly when he felt him kissing and biting along his neck.

“Jarvis, lock down the lab.” Tony called out, as he took off both of their shirts urgently, grinding his hips against Peter’s who just kept whimpering, head spinning, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was about to have sex with Tony Fucking Stark, in his lab, it seemed too surreal.

The older man stopped the assault on his neck to stare at Peter’s chest and belly, which made him blush a bright red that spread from his face all the way down to his navel. Tony noticed and smirked, grabbing him by the waist to pull him closer, their chests touching lightly, as he whispered in his ear. “You look fucking gorgeous, babe.”

In his twenty one years of life, no one had ever said that to Peter. He lost his virginity at fifteen to a guy called Tom, who said he was too skinny as he pounded into him in the back seat of his car in an abandoned parking lot. The second person he ever had sex with, at seventeen, was a guy named Josh, and although he never said anything about his body, he only ever took Peter from behind and the boy couldn’t help but think that he did it because he was disgusted by the sight of him – well, to be fair, Josh _was_ a closeted jock who called Peter a fag and pushed him into lockers at school, so he probably really _was_ disgusted by him when they fucked.

Josh dumped him for a cheerleader after graduation and Peter started dating Wade Wilson in college. Wade was a cool, nice guy, but he wasn’t exactly _tactful_. He never purposefully said anything to hurt Peter, but he kept making slightly cruel jokes about his height, like, once, at a frat party, he told all his friends that he missed just bending someone over a table and fucking them, because Peter was too short and if he tried it, his feet would be dangling in the air – he was drunk out of his mind, and everybody had a good laugh, but Peter only smiled awkwardly and shrank into the couch, ironically trying to make himself smaller.

In short, all of those boys’s comments about his body made Peter a little self-conscious about himself – but Tony wasn’t a boy, he was a man, and he looked at Peter directly into his eyes and said all these nice, sweet things as he fucked him fast and urgently, but somehow gently as well. He pounded him against the hard wall, but he placed a hand behind his head and the other on the curve of his spine, preventing Peter from slamming directly into the wall.

The thoughtfulness of the gesture left the younger man breathless and flushed and so full of… stupid hope. The genius whispered sweet praises in his ear, he called him perfect, and beautiful, and gorgeous – Peter was almost a hundred percent sure that’s what got him off in the end, not his hard on rubbing against Tony’s taut stomach.

Tony came inside him and it took him a minute or two to let Peter stand back up. As the haze in his mind cleared, the younger man finally realized what he had done. Tony’s invitation to see the lab had seemed so innocent at first, Peter would never have guessed _the_ Tony Stark would find him attractive, so he assumed he had just taken pity on him because he kept rambling about how awesome he thought his work was. Yet, as soon as they walked inside the lab – his personal lab, Peter had noted giddily – the younger man barely had time to check out the first work bench when Tony grabbed him by the waist and threw him against a wall.

Tony, who was a married man, a playboy known for his “sexcapades” and for cheating on his wife with supermodels and pop singers and up and coming young actors and actresses. As his mind cleared, he realized that of course he hadn’t meant anything he said during sex. Of course he didn’t think Peter was beautiful or perfect, he was just saying whatever came to mind in the heat of the moment.

He watched Tony put on his clothes, feeling a little stupid and very out of place as he tried to locate where his own clothes had landed. Luckily, his boxers were close by – and Peter flushed an even brighter red as he noticed they were fucking Spider-man themed underwear. Fuck his life. He put on his clothes as fast as he could and noticed Tony was already dressed impeccably, leaning against a work bench as if nothing had happened. He looked amazing in a very expensive gray suit and his hair looked perfect whereas Peter kept trying to tame his own unruly curls, but of course they wouldn’t comply. He gave it up and just bit his lower lip, waiting for Tony to say something.

“Nice underoos.” He smirked, lifting an eyebrow, and Peter wanted to die, he literally wanted to drop dead right then and there. “Don’t worry, you pull them off. Incredibly well.” He wiggled his eyebrows and, seriously, Peter just wanted a quick, painless death, why couldn’t God just grant him that? “Before we continue, I’m gonna need you to sign an NDA, ok, Pete? You can’t tell anyone about whatever happens here. Am I making myself clear?” He stared at the younger man intently and Peter nodded quickly, crossing his arms over his chest as if this could protect him from the outside world.

“Yes, Mr. Stark, sir.” He winced at how overeager and stupid he sounded, but Tony just smiled softly and shook his head, wrapping an arm over Peter’s shoulders.

“I think we’re on a first name basis already, don’t you think, underoos?” Tony guided the younger man to a table filled with all sorts of papers and he grabbed a thick document that Peter could only assume was the NDA. “It’s pretty standard, but you can read it over, if you want.”

“No, it’s ok.” Peter took the pen that was offered to him and, as he signed, he was sure that whatever happened that day would soon feel like a distant dream, Tony would disappear from his life completely, probably would get him fired from the dance studio, and it would be as if they never met.

Peter was wrong.

\---*---

**09/12/2014 – 08 Months**

“A-ahh... Right there, Tony.” Peter closed his eyes, throwing one arm over his face, relaxing into the couch, as Tony’s hands kneaded one of his calves. He was fucking exhausted, it had been a crazy week, he took all the extra shifts he could at the coffee shop and at the restaurant, on top of all the things he had to do before he started his Masters in just a few days, all because of the stupid fridge that had broken down on him during the weekend. If he wanted to afford rent _and_ the repair by the end of the month, he had to take more than a few extra shifts.

“Hey, I was thinking…” The older man began and Peter opened one eye, peeking at Tony suspiciously from under his arm. The older man was wearing only a pair of sweats that Peter bought specifically for him a couple of months earlier, since none of his own sweats fit Tony properly.

“Nothing good ever comes out of that.” The boy teased, poking the older man’s ribs with his free leg. Tony laughed, startled, and grabbed his foot, massaging it before sliding his hands up Peter’s naked calf.

“Zip it, brat, the adult’s talking.” Peter rolled his eyes, smiling and sighing quietly as the older man’s strong hands worked miracles on his muscles. “Listen, I’m here all the time. I eat your food, I use your water, your heater, your internet, your power… You know, it’s only fair that I contribute somehow.”

“Tony...” The younger man closed his eyes again, annoyed, and he felt Tony squeeze his knees.

“No, hear me out, babe, I should pay rent, it’s only fair. It wouldn’t be like I was giving you money for nothing.” He insisted, trying to tickle his feet to lighten up the mood but Peter barely flinched.

“Except it would. You’re barely ever here, Tony, you come, like, four times a month, and you hardly ever stay the night. Most of the time you’re gone before I’m even up. We’ve talked about this, I’m not your... Your kept boy, your sugar baby, or whatever. Just leave it alone.” He opened his eyes and stared meaningfully into the older man’s brown ones. Peter knew he meant well, but the whole idea just didn’t sit right with him.

“Pete, come on, it’s not that, you _know_ it’s not that. You’re overworking yourself, you’re exhausted all the time. Whenever something breaks or you need extra money you turn into a workaholic zombie! There’s no need for that, baby, I can help you, I _want_ to help you. Let me take care of you.”

“Tony, I appreciate it, I really do, but I can do it on my own, ok? I’ve been doing it on my own ever since I was eighteen. I’m not gonna die from waiting tables and serving coffee, it’s no big deal.” Peter tried to take his legs off the older man’s lap to maybe sit up straight to have that conversation with some sort of dignity, but Tony didn’t let him, he held his legs down and started massaging his thighs instead.

“No, c’mon, forget I said anything. Let’s not fight over this again, ok?” Tony kneaded Peter’s thighs and the younger man sighed slightly, nodding and relaxing again into the couch. He definitely didn’t want to waste time fighting, they already had so little time together.

The boy closed his eyes and concentrated on Tony’s strong hands on his tired muscles. It was a little chilly and Peter wasn’t wearing any clothes, but the heat coming from Tony’s body kept him warm. He tried not to think that he only had a few hours left with the older man, soon he would have to leave, go back to his family. Peter felt terrible about the whole thing – he felt terrible for Sunset and Morgan, he didn’t wanna be the cause of Tony’s absence. Besides, he was so ashamed of what he was doing; he never thought he could be a “homewrecker”. He also felt sorry for himself. He inadvertently fell in love with Tony Stark, a man he could never have. And he had no one to blame but himself.

“C’mere.” The younger man reached out to Tony, taking his hands from his legs and tried to pull him on top of himself. He sighed happily when the older man came willingly, laying his head on Peter’s narrow chest, his solid weight grounded him. “You don’t have to worry about me, ok? I swear I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, I know, kid. I just wish you’d let me do it anyway. Not because you _need_ it, but because _I_ want to. But enough of that.” He tickled Peter’s midsection and the younger man squealed, trying to get away from the quick fingers. “Are you hungry?” Tony rested his elbows on either side of Peter’s head, watching as the younger man tried to catch his breath, smiling, before he nodded quickly. “I still have a few hours, I can whip up some spaghetti if you want.”

“Of course I do, I love your cooking.” Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, pecking his lips quickly before whispering into the older man’s ear. “You think we could go again before you leave?” He felt the older man shiver and grunt on top of him. Tony was a 45 year-old man and while he was in incredible shape, they had already had sex twice in just a few hours, so Peter wasn’t really sure he had the stamina to go another round.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, kid, but I’ll die a happy, happy man.” He kissed him deeply on the lips, thrusting his hips against Peter’s and the younger man moaned, feeling his still limp cock twitch. “Let’s have something to eat first, and then I… I have to tell you something.” Tony averted his gaze, staring at the younger man’s collarbone, and Peter was immediately alarmed.

“Is something the matter?” He grabbed the older man’s face and forced him to look into his eyes, and Tony sighed, kissing his lips softly before nodding curtly.

“Yeah, but it’s nothing serious, we’ll make it work.” He got up from the couch and extended a hand for Peter to follow. Tony grabbed his own t-shirt from the floor and gave it to the boy, who was still completely naked, his clothes scattered all the way from the front door to the couch.

“We’ll make what work?” The young man asked, pulling the worn out Metallica t-shirt over his head, as he followed Tony into the kitchen. The older man was clearly avoiding the subject as he moved around the room looking for ingredients, muttering to himself, so Peter held him by the arm and forced him to look back at him. “What’s wrong?”

Tony sighed and turned around. He looked down at Peter’s worried face and kissed his forehead, before helping him onto the counter so that he would be a little taller then him. He looked up into the boy’s eyes and pursed his lips, as if he didn’t know how to phrase what he had to say next. “I’m gonna have to move back to California because of the company.”

“What – why?” Peter felt his head spin, confusion showing on his face. “You don’t _have_ to do anything, you’re the fucking boss!”

“Yeah, actually, I kinda do. The arc reactor becomes fully operational next month, I have to be there next week to oversee everything and I’m probably gonna have to be there most of the time for the next few years to make sure it goes smoothly. It’s pretty new technology, nobody but me is qualified enough to deal with any problems that might come up. I need to be there.” He caressed Peter face, one of his thumbs trying to smooth down the frown on his forehead.

“But… How – what about u-us?” Peter was shaking slightly and Tony moved his hands to rub his arms soothingly.

“Like I said, we’ll make it work, ok? I have a private jet, I’ll come as often as I can, you can come visit as well, I’ll cover all the expenses, it’s gonna be ok. We’ll adapt. Right, kid?” He looked into Peter’s eyes for confirmation, as if he could say no or something, but the younger man refused to look back at him. “Hey, c’mon. We’ll make it work. I promise.”

“When do you leave?” He asked, instead, trying to come up with solutions, maybe hoping that there was still time for Tony to change his mind, maybe he could train other engineers to oversee the arc reactor operation.

“On Thursday.” The older man replied sheepishly, watching Peter’s eyes widening.

“What? Already!? Will I even see you again before you leave?” He held Tony’s hands on his face and the older man winced, shaking his had no.

“I don’t think so, babe. But I’ll be back as soon as possible, ok? And I’ll call you before then.” Peter tried really hard to keep the tears from spilling, he really did, but after that he just couldn’t. He just felt like it was all over, he didn’t think he was worth the trouble of a trip from Malibu to New York. They had been together for only a little more than seven months, he was sure that Tony would meet someone else in California and forget completely about him. He _knew_ he wasn’t that special, people always left him as soon as something better came along. “Hey, stop, don’t be like this.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so pathetic.” He wiped his face furiously, trying to stop the flood of tears. “I’m just gonna miss you a lot.”

“Yeah, me too, kid. But it’s gonna be fine, we’ll talk all the time, there won’t be time for missing each other, ok? C’mere.” He wrapped his arms around Peter’s waist and the younger man locked his arms around his neck tightly, thinking that maybe if he never let go Tony wouldn’t be able to leave.

\---*---

**04/09/2015 - 1 year and 03 months**

For the first time in many months, Peter felt insecure about their relationship. As he read the article speculating about Tony’s new affair, he felt his stomach sinking. They had never had _The Talk_ in over a year together, but Peter figured they were exclusive – well, besides Tony’s marriage, of course. Before they got together and in the early stages of their relationship, there were always news about Tony’s affairs. There were always pictures of him at parties, and speculation, and someone sharing “ _all the hot details of their night with_ the _Tony Stark!”._ But as the months passed, the news just – stopped. It had been ages since the last time Peter read anything about Tony being with someone else, so he just assumed – he thought they were exclusive.

The article was from two days earlier, Tony was in some sort of function in Palo Alto and someone took pictures of him with a young woman. He had an arm around her waist and seemed to be whispering something _very funny_ in her ear if their twin smiles were anything to go by. She was some genius from Silicon Valley who became a millionaire before 25 and she was so fucking pretty. Peter’s blood boiled in his veins, his heart was beating fast, he wanted to fucking murder Tony, but at the same time, he wanted to crawl into bed and cry like a baby in fetal position for three days straight.

Tony was supposed to visit later that night, he had business in New York and, this time, he would be able to spend the whole weekend, even if he had to be at Stark Industries for most of Friday and Saturday. Peter had been so excited, he stocked his fridge full of Tony’s favorite – and very expensive – beer, he bought ingredients for all their favorite dishes, he even made a list of all the movies they agreed to watch together over the months, but never got the chance.

They hadn’t seen each other in over six weeks, but all that excitement had died down after Ned sent him the article. He had no clue that Tony and Peter were together – nobody did. Somehow, the media never caught whiff of their relationship, probably because Peter was just a sad, unimportant nobody. If he was a supermodel or a millionaire genius, maybe it would be all over the news. So Ned just sent him the article because he knew Peter had a crush on the billionaire ever since they were teenagers, really.

Peter spent the whole afternoon thinking about it at the lab, as he tried not to mix up the formulas he was working on – he couldn’t risk his Masters scholarship over a little heartbreak. He was used to those, really. When he got home that night, Tony was already there – he had a key. He sat on the couch lazily drinking a beer, the jacket of his suit forgotten on the back of a chair, his tie askew and the top buttons of his shirt undone as he watched the news. He looked at Peter when he heard him walking in and quickly got to his feet, rushing towards the younger man.

Before either of them could say anything, Tony had him pressed against the closed door, lips smashed against the younger man’s and both of them moaned when their bodies connected, chests and hips flush together. Tony’s hands ran through Peter’s wild curls – which he seemed to love – as the younger man held tight to his shoulders, afraid he would sink straight into the floor if he ever let go.

“I fucking missed you, kid.” Tony whispered urgently as he came up for air, but soon started kissing and biting at Peter’s neck, and the younger man almost got too carried away, but he gathered all his will power and pushed Tony away gently, seeing a frown form on his handsome face. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” He looked at Peter up and down and then seemed to realize something. “You just got home from school, right? You must be exhausted.” He grabbed his face with both of his hands and kissed each of his eyelids tenderly and Peter literally had to hold back tears.

“No, it’s not that. Um – Tony...” He grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, feeling as the older man embraced his waist, confusion written all over his face. “You – I – are we exclusive?” He blurted out, in a hurry, and the older man’s eyes got as big as saucers. “I mean – I know you’re married, obviously, it’s just – I mean, besides that. Do you – are you seeing someone else?”

“Why do ask? You wanna see other people?” He took a few steps away from Peter, raising his eyebrows, and the younger man pulled him close again.

“No! I don’t, it’s just… I saw this article today. It just – there’s a picture of you and… I mean. You just used to screw around a lot, I guess. Do you still do? Because I thought we were exclusive, and if we aren’t, I don’t know if I –“ Tony interrupted him before he could go any further.

“There’s no one else. Don’t waste your time with these stupid tabloids, they probably just ran out of things to say about me.” Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed Peter’s arms to wrap them around his own neck. “Besides, you exhaust me, kid. I’m old, I don’t have enough energy for more than one of you.”

“You promise?” Peter insisted, feeling really insecure. Tony made all those jokes about being old, and not having enough time or energy, but he was handsome as fuck and really energetic and he was always at parties and he was so fucking charming and suave and – fuck. He could do so much better than Peter.

“Do I need to?” Tony raised an eyebrow in disbelief, taking a little step back, but still holding the younger man by the waist. “I have no reason to lie to you, kid. If I’m telling you there’s no one else, there’s no one else, just trust me.” He squeezed Peter’s hipbones and the younger man nodded, breathing deeply.

“Yeah, ok. Ok.” He was being unreasonable, Tony was always honest with him, even when the truth was hard to swallow – like when he told Peter he couldn’t come over even though he was in New York because his family had come along and he had to – _wanted_ _to_ _–_ stay with them.

“C’mere, I missed you, babe.” He pulled Peter close by the hem of his shirt and he went willingly, wrapping his arms tightly around Tony’s neck. He accepted the rough kiss the older man gave him, as he pressed him against the closed door, and sighed happily, when he pulled away and kissed his forehead softly.

“I missed you too, Tony, you’ve been gone for so long.” He rested his forehead against the older man’s and closed his eyes, trying to hide his feelings as best as he could, but he was sure Tony could read him like an open book.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? And we have the whole weekend.” He pecked him on the lips and stepped away, taking his hand and pulling him towards the couch. “C’mon, I’ll give you a massage.”

“The way you always offer to do that makes me feel like a pregnant woman, you know.” Peter rolled his eyes with a smile and Tony barked out a laugh as he plopped down on the couch, pulling the younger man onto his lap, before nuzzling his neck affectionately.

“Well, you’re certainly as moody as a pregnant woman, so I might as well try to get on your good side.” He smiled against the side of Peter’s face and, by the end of the night, the young man had no idea why he was so upset earlier.

\---*----

**12/16/2015 - 01 year and 11 months**

Tony stared at the tree, one hand on his hip and the other scratching his chin, as if in deep thought. Peter watched him from the couch, amused, when the older man started muttering to himself, something about the tree needing more red and gold as he looked through the box that Peter left by his feet. The younger man had decorated the Christmas tree weeks earlier, but when Tony arrived he deemed it unworthy and took it upon himself to “fix it”. He didn’t even let Peter help – according to him, he had no taste.

As Tony took down some blue ornaments to replace them with red ones instead, Peter let his mind wander. He dared to think of a future in which they could do this together in their own home, maybe they would exchange slow, lazy kisses and drink hot cocoa. Maybe they would wear ugly, matching sweaters – gifts from May – and Tony would make fun of the holes in his mismatched socks. Maybe they could cook dinner together, exchanging soft touches and loving looks from across the kitchen as one cut the onions and the other stirred the sauce. Maybe they could sit on the couch and watch old Christmas movies, then they could go to bed early and make love slowly under the warm sheets.

“Now _this_ is a proper tree, little one.” Tony announced as he plopped down on the couch next to him, one arm over his shoulders. The tree was entirely decorated in red and gold now, it did look classier, but Peter kinda liked the blue globes better. “I hope you watched and learned.”

“Sure did.” He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, snuggling up to Tony’s side and stealing some of his warmth. They stayed silent for a little while and Peter went right back to his fantasy about white Christmases spent together without worrying about the clock.

“Hey, you’re spacing out a lot today, is everything ok? You’re never this quiet.” The older man asked against Peter’s temple and all the boy could think was that they only had a couple of hours left before Tony had to fly back to California.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just – do you ever think about the future?” He whispered without looking up at Tony, but he felt, rather than heard, when the older man chuckled.

“I’m too old to think about the future, kid, I’d rather enjoy the present, you know. Specially if it’s with you.” He poked his ribs playfully, trying to get a laugh out of Peter.

“No, I know, I mean…” Peter covered his red face with his hands, embarrassed. When they first got together, almost two years earlier, he never dared to think about the future. He just took whatever Tony gave him, fully expecting to be dumped once the older man got bored, like all the other boys before him did. But then again, Tony was no boy and as the months passed he just seemed to grow fonder of Peter, they just seemed to become closer. He never talked about his feelings, but Peter thought that maybe.. Maybe they both felt the same way. And if they did, maybe Tony had a plan for them to be together – properly – sometime in the future. “I mean about us. Do you ever think about us being together, like – you know, not hiding and stuff.” He mumbled the last part and felt the older man tense next to him. Peter held his breath for the whole minute it took for Tony to say something.

“Hey, what we have – it’s fucking good, right? Do you like spending time with me?” Peter nodded quickly and the older man smiled. “Me too, you know. I love being here with you, kid. This is my safe heaven.” Peter couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t really an answer. “So let’s just make the most of it, ok? There’s no need to worry this pretty head of yours.” He kissed his temple and rested his head against Peter’s soft curls as the younger man thought it wasn’t really the future he imagined, it was just a lot more of little time together.

\---*---

**07/11/2016 - 02 years and 06 months**

Peter watched from the bed as Tony got dressed in his dark blue, three-piece suit. They had only had a couple of hours after Tony’s meeting at SI; now he had a plane to catch in just one hour heading to China, where he’d be for at least two weeks, and then he had meetings in Europe for at least another two. After that, he’d go home to his family, he said he was worried that he wasn’t spending enough time with Morgan.

Tony always said that he didn’t want to turn into his father, but Peter thought he was a great dad. He always remembered special dates, he picked her up from school at least three times a week, he always had breakfast with her when he was in Malibu, he took her to the park almost every Sunday and he let her stay with him in the lab as he worked on his projects – he even helped her build her very own robot. His name was C-Lee and he could do pirouettes, according to Tony.

“Well, I think we won’t be able to see each other for the next couple of months, baby.” Tony climbed into bed and placed a kiss on Peter’s cheek, and then another on his lips. “But I’ll call you as soon as I land in China, ok?” Before he could get up from the bed, Peter grabbed his arm, staring at the sheets instead of at Tony. “Pete?”

“Maybe don’t call?” He whispered and his voice broke slightly at the end of the sentence, as he raised his eyes to stare into Tony’s. The older man seemed deeply confused, so Peter closed his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again. “Maybe we shouldn’t – do this anymore.”

“Where’s that coming from, Peter?” He frowned deeply, almost shocked. His eyes were as big as saucers and it looked like his mind was running a mile a minute. “Did you meet someone else?”

“Of course not, it’s just – I feel –“ Peter exhaled, frustrated because his eyes were burning, brimming with tears, and he knew he couldn’t hold them for long. “We’ve been doing this for over two years now. And you have your family and I know, _I know_ you worry about Morgan, you don’t wanna stay away from her, you wanna raise her, and I get it, you’re absolutely right. As someone who grew up without a father, I know you’re doing the right thing – I just. I really can’t keep doing this, you know.” He felt when a tear escaped from his left eye and he tried to avoid Tony’s gaze, but the older man held his chin, forcing him to look back at him and that was when Peter just couldn’t hold it anymore. He sobbed quietly, feeling as more and more tears escaped from his eyes against his will.

“This isn’t fun for you anymore?” He sounded hurt and just a little angry, Peter couldn’t bear it, but he just – he had to do it.

“It was never about fun for me.” Tony stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before he leaned in and kissed him, almost desperately, as if it could change something, as if it could change Peter’s mind. Peter let him, he embraced his shoulders and let Tony take whatever he needed – as he always did. He could taste his own tears in the kiss and when they finally parted, the older man rested his forehead against his and stared into his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t, so Peter did. “I love you.”

“Pete –“

“I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I need to say this, okay?” He grabbed his face with both of his hands, looking firmly into his eyes. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone else before. I love you, but I’m unhappy. And lonely. All the time. And I’m tired of being your dirty little secret, I feel shitty because of what we’re doing, I hate that I can’t tell anyone about us, I hate that we don’t get to go out together, I hate that I only get a few hours a month with you, and I fucking hate sharing you.” He let it all out, everything he was feeling for so long, things that he didn’t even dare think to himself. It was all out in the open now.

“I make you unhappy?” He looked pained as he asked that, holding Peter’s hands against his face.

“Not you, but this whole situation...” Peter took a deep breath and tried to organize his thoughts, tried to stop sobbing. His face was wet and he probably looked like a mess, but Tony looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen – like he always did. Fuck, Peter would never get over the way Tony looked at him – it made him feel like he meant something. Like he was special. Loved. “I love you, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Tony never said it back, he nodded curtly and kissed Peter softly one last time, before walking away without looking back.

\---


	2. PART II

**01/14/2017 - 3 years**

“You know you can’t just keep dropping by, right?” Peter leaned against the doorway and Tony looked back at him, hands in his pockets, seeming relaxed, like he wasn’t showing up uninvited at his ex-boyfriend’s front door. It was the third time since they broke up, six months earlier, but he always had some sort of excuse – he claimed to have forgotten his favorite shirt in the apartment the first time; yet, mysteriously, they couldn’t find it anywhere and ended up having dinner together instead. The second time around, he claimed that Pepper, his assistant, had mixed the dates and the penthouse was undergoing renovations, so could he please spend the night on the couch?

“I know, I just thought you might need help packing. You’re moving out in a week, right?” After he finished his Masters, Peter scored a job at Hammer Industries, specifically in their California branch – that was where their biochemistry division was located. He also got accepted to CalTech’s Biochemistry PhD program – so it all worked out perfectly and he would be moving away from New York soon.

May was devastated, of course, but Peter promised to visit her at least once a year; Ned was over the moon, he had been working in San Francisco for a couple of years, so they would be living close by; Tony was furious, at first, when he heard that Peter would be working for Hammer, he insisted that he accepted a job at SI, but Peter refused vehemently, telling him it would be extremely inappropriate – he came around eventually, and he was really excited that they would be living in the same state.

“Yeah, come on in, I’ll make us some coffee. How much time have you got?” He let the older man in and headed towards the kitchen.

“I don’t have to leave until 6am, so we’re good.” He followed Peter into the kitchen and stayed close as the young man gathered what he needed. Peter could feel him hovering behind his back, a little to his right, but chose to ignore him. “You know Pasadena is just, like, thirty minutes away from Malibu?”

“Yeah, if you drive like madman, which – yeah, sure, it’s thirty minutes for you, I guess.” Peter smirked at him, playfully, and Tony bumped him with his hip lightly, still keeping his hands in his pockets, as if he didn’t trust them around Peter.

“Is that part of the reason why you chose CalTech?” Again, he tried to sound casual, but Peter could feel the tension in the air.

“I chose CalTech because I got a job at Hammer Industries, you know that.” Peter looked at him from the corner of his eyes and saw Tony nodding slowly.

“We could see each other everyday if we wanted.” He leaned against the counter and tried to sound casual, avoiding Peter’s gaze. He stared straight ahead into the tiny living room that looked surprisingly tidy that afternoon.

“Yeah, because that’s what we did when you lived here, right?” Peter didn’t dare look up either, he pretended to be busy fixing coffee.

“Pete –“

“Look, Tony, if you wanna be friends – I’m gonna need a little time and space, but I can do that. I can do friends.” He turned towards the older man and his face was impassive, it gave nothing away, as usual. “What I _cannot_ do is go back to what we had. It was too fucking hard to let that go, so – let’s just. Not. Ok?”

“No, yeah, sure. Of course. We should be friends.” He shrugged, staring at his feet, and Peter sighed, a little relieved and extremely disappointed.

“Good. Friends, then.”

\---

**01/31/2018 - 4 years**

“I can’t believe you’re dating an Osborn. I can’t fucking believe it, Pete!” As soon as the younger man opened the door, Tony stormed in. Peter could smell the alcohol on his breath the second he opened his mouth and couldn’t help but notice how disheveled he looked. That was probably the first time in four years that he didn’t look impeccable and perfectly put together in Peter’s presence.

“What’s wrong with Harry?” The younger man asked defensively, closing the door quickly before his neighbors started complaining. He’d hate to be that person that disturbs the whole building. “No, you know what? I don’t care. You don’t know him, you don’t get to judge.”

“Do you love him?” He turned abruptly towards Peter and the young man stood still by the door, arms crossed protectively over his chest. He wasn’t afraid of Tony, he’d just never seen him like that before, he was aggressive and loud, he looked furious, so different from the cool and nonchalant man he was used to. Then again, he didn’t remember ever seeing Tony fully drunk, only slightly tipsy, the man could really hold his liquor, so Peter could only imagine how much he’d had to drink that night.

“What does it matter to you? It’s none of your business!” Peter huffed, turning his gaze away, avoiding Tony’s smart eyes. He really didn’t want to have that conversation, _specially_ not with Tony.

“You said you loved me, don’t you love me anymore? You love _him_ now?” As he said those words, he came closer to Peter, extending his hands as if he meant to touch him, but his arms fell limply by his sides.

“Go home to your family, Tony, you’re drunk.” The young man averted his gaze, cheeks burning red, heart beating so loudly in his chest that he was afraid Tony would be able to hear it. The older man had never acknowledged Peter’s confession before, not even when Peter made it. He just left and they never talked about it again, it was as if it never happened. Now a drunk and angry Tony wanted to bring it up? Fuck that!

“Answer me!”

“I don’t owe you anything, Tony! Don’t make this about us, this is not about us, we’ve been over for a year and a half! You don’t get to ask questions and make demands!” Before he even realized what was happening, before he could react, the older man pushed him roughly against the door and smashed their mouths together, bruising the young man’s lips in the process. Peter could feel the bitter taste of alcohol on his tongue, but he could also feel the tenderness of his fingertips behind his head, the warmth of his strong arm around his waist, so much like their very first time together. “Don’t do this, don’t fucking do this! I have a boyfriend, Tony! Fuck!” He pushed him with all his strength and even though the older man was clearly drunk out of his mind, he barely moved an inch.

“He’s not good enough for you, babe, you deserve so much better!” He held Peter’s head firmly between his hands and pressed their foreheads together, but the boy scoffed.

“And what’s that, Tony? You? That’s what I deserve? A couple of stolen hours, barely enough for a quick fuck before you have to catch the next plane back to your wife? Is _that_ what I deserve?” He pushed the older man again and this time he complied, letting go of his face to stumble back a couple of feet. Peter shook his head, pointing towards the door. “Just go.”

“I miss you.” He said, brokenly, and for a whole second Peter thought that maybe he was gonna cry, but of course he didn’t, he never did – Peter was always the one crying and begging and apologizing. He was the weak one, the one who exposed himself, the one willing to be vulnerable and honest – not Tony. Never him.

“And I missed you every single day for two whole years, Tony, where the fuck were you? Huh?” He almost yelled in his face, angry tears streaming down his cheeks as he pushed him again, weakly but meaningfully. “’Cause you weren’t there! I was all alone, all the fucking time!”

“Fuck!” Tony ran his hands through his own hair, shutting his eyes tightly, and then darted towards the door. Suddenly, it hit Peter that the older man wasn’t in his right mind and he was probably driving, he was always driving, it was a miracle he even made it there alive. The young man planted himself in front of the door, arms wide open in front of it.

“Give me your keys.” He demanded, his voice weak and wet, broken by the tears. He looked at Tony’s pocket and the man stared back at him like he had grown a second head or as if he wasn’t speaking English. “Your car keys, give them to me, you’re not driving, I’m calling an Uber.”

“What do you care?” He stalked towards Peter and tried to push him away from the door, but the boy wouldn’t budge. “Peter, what the fuck!”

“Give me your keys!” He extended his hand towards the older man, but he just scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna call you an Uber, you’re going to spend the night at a hotel and tomorrow you can have your keys back. Come on, give’em.” The young man insisted and Tony started shaking his head, but Peter interrupted. “Do you want Morgan to wake up tomorrow to news that her father’s fucking dead in some ditch because he was too fucking drunk to drive, but did it anyway? Do you want her to grow up without a father because you’re too fucking stubborn to just listen to me?”

“Fucking hell!” He took his keys from his pocket and thrusted them into Peter’s open palm, then turned towards the couch and sat heavily, his head hanging between his shoulders. Peter quickly pulled out his phone and called an Uber to the closest hotel he could find, it wasn’t fancy or anything, but it would have to do. Besides, Tony was too drunk to notice anyway.

“You should go downstairs, your car will arrive in two minutes.” The older man didn’t bother looking at Peter as he got up and moved towards the door. The young man held him by the biceps before he could leave and he sighed heavily, impatient to go. “You call me as soon as you get there, ok?” Tony only stared at him for a few seconds, before nodding dazedly. “Don’t do anything stupid. Just take a shower, get some sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” He nodded again. “We’re ok, aren’t we?” Peter licked his lips nervously, worried that maybe that had finally been the last straw for them.

“Best friends forever, Pete.”

\--*--

**06/11/2018 – 4 years and 5 months**

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Peter would have rolled his eyes impatiently at Tony, but his eyes hurt like a bitch. His whole body did, actually. He was cold, but he knew his skin was burning hot, the older man had taken his temperature just a few minutes earlier and he was running a high fever.

Peter had been feeling ill for a couple of days, but that morning, when he woke up, he couldn’t even get out of bed – his bones hurt, his head hurt, he could barely open his eyes against the morning sun. He called in sick and took some Tylenol, he was sure he would feel better in no time, but as the day went by it became clear that he wouldn’t. He hadn’t eaten anything all day long and getting up from the bed just to get water was a terrible and painful experience, so in the evening he finally caved in and called Tony – he had no one else to call. Harry, May and MJ were in New York, Ned was in San Francisco, and he wasn’t really that close to anyone at Caltech or Hammer Industries.

“I told you, he’s in New York, he’s coming back tomorrow.” Peter answered for probably the third time in the last hour, and Tony shook his head, seemingly indignant, as he approached the bed with a bowl of soup.

“He should be here taking care of you. Look at you, you’re half dead!” He set the bowl on Peter’s nightstand, then sat by his side, placing his warm hands around his neck. “If this fever doesn’t go down by the morning, I’m taking you to the doctor.” He deadpanned, adjusting the pillows behind Peter so that he could sit somewhat straight.

“Tony, I’m fine, seriously, I just called you because I was hungry and delirious, it was a poorly thought out idea. I’m sorry I disturbed you, I’m sure you have other places to be.” Peter figured Tony kept asking about Harry because he was probably annoyed that Peter called him, he’d probably rather be with his family than taking care of a sick ex-boyfriend – even one he claimed to be friends with.

“What, are you insane? I’m not leaving you alone in this condition, you should have called sooner, Pete, you have to drop this tough guy act and learn to ask for help when you need it, what if you had passed out here on you own? Or what if you had fallen and broken something on your trips to the kitchen? What if you had hit your head? Don’t ever do that again, I swear to God, if you so much as get a headache and your asshole boyfriend is out of town, you call me immediately, you hear me? You don’t try to power through it!” Tony looked very, very serious and stern, Peter felt like a little kid being chastised by the principal at school.

He stared into the concerned, warm, brown eyes and felt an uncontrollable surge of _love_ for that man. He felt guilty and wrong – because of Harry, Sunset and Morgan – but he couldn’t help himself. He loved Tony. He loved him sincerely, with a certainty and a clarity that didn’t leave any room for any doubts. He was passed the crying phase, though, he just felt this quiet sadness and longing for him, but he was usually able to bury them deep down. But right then, feeling so weak and vulnerable, he didn’t have the energy to pretend that Tony wasn’t the love of his life.

“Will you hold me?” He asked, softly, and saw the moment the older man let all his guards down, all the exasperation and fight leaving his body as his shoulders sagged and he scooted over to Peter, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him impossibly close to his side. The young man clung to him like a lifeline and sighed contently, feeling safe.

“Always, Pete. Whenever you want me to.”

**01/04/2019 - 5 years**

“I swear to God, Tony, you better start explaining yourself.” Peter didn’t bother yelling, he just pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily as he opened the door wider for the older man to come in. Tony strode confidently into the apartment as if everything was fine and dandy, like he hadn’t punched Peter’s boyfriend in the face the night before, like it wasn’t already all over the news as people tried to guess what had happened between the two of them at the gala. Apparently, they thought it was business related.

Tony headed straight to the bar – meaning a small table with two glasses and a bottle of scotch that only Tony ever drank – and fixed two drinks silently as Peter rolled his eyes and walked to an armchair – he really didn’t feel like sharing a couch with Tony at that moment. The older man came closer and handed him a glass of whiskey, Peter meant to refuse it, it wasn’t his particular kind of poison and Tony knew it, but he just took the glass and held it loosely between his fingers.

“Well?” Peter tapped a foot on the floor, staring at the older man as he took his time to get conformable on the couch, before taking a long sip of his drink, turning to Peter once he finished.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Tony asked, calm and collected, and Peter really wanted to choke him to death, he had no right to be that calm after what he pulled.

“He’s in New York now, but he came by yesterday and he told me that you punched him because you’re a jealous fucker and I had a really hard fucking time trying to convince him that you and I never had anything, that we’re just friends, Tony. So let me ask you again, clearer this time: what the fuck happened?”

“He’s cheating on you.” He blurted out, taking another sip of his drink. Peter stilled, staring at him, trying to decode the words that came out of his mouth. “I told him to tell you or I would. Apparently he didn’t, so we’re doing this the hard way.”

“Tony, I swear to God, if you’re making this up –“

“Have I ever _lied_ to you, Pete?” He leaned towards the coffee table and left his drink there, before sliding closer to Peter’s armchair, close enough that he could touch him if he extended his arm, but he didn’t. “I would never do anything to hurt you, Pete. I hate that kid, but I’m not making this up. I saw him with a redhead at the gala and they were way _too_ friendly.”

“A redhead? A girl? About my age?” His stomach turned as he remembered confronting Harry about Mary Jane in the past and he swore she was just a friend from college, he fucking _swore_. Tony nodded firmly once and Peter ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of an explanation. “What did you see exactly?”

“He was either performing a very inappropriate CPR on her or he was trying to eat her face off. Either way, they were together all night long before that.” Peter closed his eyes, trying to avoid the burn, as he let himself sink into the soft armchair. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him – because there had to be something wrong. Why was he so unlovable? Why was it so easy for people to leave him, to use him like a toy and then toss him away when something better came along? It had happened way too many fucking times to be normal, to be “bad luck”. Maybe he should just get a cat and embrace the loneliness. “Hey, cheer up, he was kind of a dick, you deserve better anyway.”

There it was again, _you deserve better._ Peter used to think so, he used to think that he deserved to be loved and cherished – because he wasn’t a bad person. He never did anyone any harm; he was a friendly guy, he always helped old ladies cross the street, helped them carry their grocery bags home; he helped his classmates at school, he even helped asshole jocks – including Josh – get their grades up so they wouldn’t get kicked off the team, even though they treated him like shit; he always donated money to charity if he ever had any left by the end of the month – so he used to think he deserved to be happy. That was the whole reason why he left Tony – but what if he wasn’t supposed to be happy?

“Peter, are you crying?” He heard Tony’s voice somewhere above him and he covered his face to try to hide the stubborn tears. He felt the older man’s hands on his arms as he pulled him up from the armchair and Peter went willingly, burying his face in Tony’s chest as soon as he was on his feet. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” He whispered as he ran his hands softly through his hair. “If I’d known you’d be this upset, I would have broken his nose, I swear, I held back ‘cause I thought you wouldn’t want me to ruin his pretty face.”

Peter snorted through his tears, shaking his head against Tony’s chest, he couldn’t believe he could make him laugh in a moment such as that. He didn’t think he _love_ _d_ Harry – if he was completely honest with himself, he wasn’t really over Tony yet, and he didn’t _want_ to be over him, he still had that stupid hope that maybe someday they could be together again – but he thought he and Harry were going somewhere. He really thought he could love him with time. They were getting pretty serious, their families and friends had met, they had spent the holidays together, things were going so well, why would he do that?

“Do you wanna get wasted?” Tony pulled Peter’s head from his chest and stared seriously into his eyes. Peter snorted again, shook his head and unashamedly buried his face in Tony’s neck.

“No – I don’t know, I feel like shit, I don’t even know what I should do right now. I wanna talk to him, but I don’t wanna do it over the phone, and he won’t be back for the next few days, so – I don’t know. I think I’m just gonna lie awake in the dark and cry my eyes out for the time being.”

“We can cuddle on the couch and watch chick flicks.” Tony suggested and Peter took in a breath, preparing to berate him about inappropriate friendship behavior for the thousandth time, but the older man rushed to correct himself. “Totally platonic, I swear! Just some friendly, platonic cuddling, then we can paint each other’s nails, braid each other’s hair, eat some ice cream, the whole shebang.”

Peter wanted to protest and say there was no such thing as platonic cuddling, but if he was being honest with himself, he could really use some cuddling. He needed to feel wanted and loved and even though he knew Tony didn’t love him like _that_ , he also knew the older man wouldn’t have stuck around and put in so much effort into their “friendship” if he didn’t love him somehow – and he definitely still wanted Peter if the hungry stares thrown in his direction whenever he thought he wasn’t looking were anything to go by.

“Okay, just some very platonic –“ Before the young man could even finish the sentence, Tony was already laying on the couch making grabby hands, which made Peter chuckle as he dried his cheeks. “I swear you’re the dorkest cool person I’ve ever met.” He laid beside Tony and let the older man hold him close, his head rested on the firm chest, his cheek brushing against the soft cloth of the worn out, well known Metallica t-shirt. After almost three years apart, Peter forgot how well he fit in Tony’s arms and how _right_ it felt to be there, even if he knew it was actually very, _very_ wrong.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He shrugged slightly and Peter snuggled closer to him, tucking his head under his chin.

“You always take everything as a compliment.” He felt the older man’s smirk against his curls and heard when he turned the TV on, apparently meaning to go through with his plan of watching chick flicks or whatever. “When do you have to leave?”

“Anytime tomorrow is fine, I guess. But I can stay until Sunday, if you need me.” Peter frowned at that, pulling away from his chest a little to look at the older man’s face.

“How come you’ve been having so much free time lately? This is, like, the third weekend in row that you’ve offered to spend with me.” He raised an eyebrow and the older man smirked at him.

“I hope it’s not the third weekend in a row that you refuse me, now that asshole-Harry is out of the picture.” When Peter didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, he rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to take some more time off work. Things are going great with the company, the arc reactor is operating perfectly, B.A.R.F. is complete, so I can afford a few more breaks.”

“Hm, good for you. I bet Morgan’s enjoying it as well.” At the mention of his daughter, Tony’s eyes softened, but they also looked a little sad. Peter frowned. “Something wrong?”

“No, not at all – she’s just going through a phase right now, I guess. She’s turning ten soon, things are changing all around her – she’s acting up a bit. But her therapist says she’ll adapt, so. Fingers crossed.” He smiled down at Peter, who smiled back at him warmly.

“You worry so much about her, you’re such a good father.” He placed a kiss on the older man’s chin. “I’m sure it’s fine, she’s just growing up.”

“Yeah, everything will be alright, that includes you, pumpkin.” Tony kissed his nose, before grabbing the remote control, turning towards the TV. “So, ‘A Walk to Remember’ or ‘The Notebook’?”

\--*--

**03-12-2019 - 5 years and 3 months**

When the Uber dropped Peter at the address Tony gave him, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. It was a mansion in one of Pasadena’s nicest neighborhoods, so Peter guessed the billionaire was apparently working on a collection of extravagant houses. Tony had invited him over to get to know his new place and they were supposed to have dinner. That was the first time ever that he was gonna meet the older man outside of his own apartment, so he was a little nervous – he was specially nervous that maybe his wife or someone else would show up. Would Tony ask him to hide in the closet or something? Did they even have anything to hide? Supposedly, they were just friends. Very secretive, weird, cuddly friends – but still.

“Good evening, Mr. Parker.” Peter immediately recognized Jarvis’s voice and smiled, it had been ages since he’d last heard it in Tony’s lab, back in New York.

“Hey, Jarvis.” As he approached the gates, they opened slowly. “Is Tony in?”

“He’s waiting for you in the living room, sir.” Peter nodded to himself, walking the short way to the front porch. Although the property was clearly big enough to be considered a mansion, not a house, it was a rather small one, so it wasn’t a long way to the front door. Once he got there, Tony opened it with a large grin.

“Welcome to my crib, kid.” He said, making room for Peter to go inside and the younger man rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling.

“Again: dorkest cool person ever.” As soon as he walked inside, Peter was surprised. He had seen pictures of Tony’s penthouse in New York and his mansion in Malibu and they both looked very classy, elegant, modern and – cold, no other way to put it. But the new house seemed really nice and cozy. The wooden floorboard made the living room feel warm, there was also a lot of gray, beige and dark blue decorating the living room, which had really comfy looking couches and armchairs. “Wow, this looks really nice, Tony.”

“Glad you like it, come on in, dinner’s almost ready, I’m gonna fix us a drink. Red wine for you?” As he said that, he was already moving towards the bar in the corner of the living room and Peter nodded, heading towards the comfiest looking couch in front of the TV.

“Oh, my God, I love this couch, I might have to steal it on my way out.” Peter sighed, petting one of the soft cushions.

“You look like a fat house cat right now, kid.” Tony said, amused, as he handed him a glass of wine and Peter was immediately _very_ aware of the fact that the couch was a _very_ light shade of gray. He sat up straight and accepted the glass, as Tony sat beside him. “But I guess this was part of the plan.”

“What plan? To get me high on comfy couches?” Peter narrowed his eyes playfully before taking a sip of his wine.

“Not exactly – I just wanted you to feel at home here.” Tony smiled with an openness that Peter wasn’t used to and his whole face warmed up, as well as his heart, unsure of what Tony meant by that.“So listen, I have to tell you a few things.”

“Is it bad news?” Suddenly, the whole set up made sense, maybe Tony was trying to soften the blow. Maybe he would move away again, God knew where, and maybe this time he would let Peter go once and for all.

“What? – No!” Tony shook his head and Peter let out a breath of relief. He took a sip of his wine and watched as Tony left his own glass on the coffee table. “Look, these things I’m gonna tell you are still secret, but they’re gonna be all over the news soon, I just wanted you to hear them from me.” Peter nodded frantically, growing nervous. “I’ve decided to name Pepper Potts CEO of Stark Industries.” Peter’s eyes widened comically and he opened his mouth to say something, but Tony cut him off. “I’m turning fifty soon and I feel like I’ve worked enough for a lifetime, I want to have time to be with my family and the people I love. That’s actually part of the reason why I’ve had more free time lately, I’ve been prepping Pepper for this.” Peter nodded slowly, still wrapping his head around the fact that Tony Stark would no longer be CEO of Stark Industries.

“Wow, Tony, I’m happy for you, really.” Peter commented sincerely, although still a little shocked. He just couldn’t picture the future of S.I. without him, but he agreed with Tony when he said he’d worked enough for a lifetime. That much was certainly true. “You deserve a break, I’m sure your family is gonna be trilled.”

“That’s the second thing, actually: I’m getting a divorce. I moved out of the house four months ago and the divorce’s almost as good as done, really. I didn’t say anything before ‘cause it was all confidential, but, like I said, it’s almost over now. Also, that’s kinda the reason why Morgan’s been acting up lately, she’s not taking it very well, but we’re working on it with therapy and everything. She was actually here yesterday and she loves her new bedroom, and the playroom, and the backyard – I’ll show you everything in a bit – so, you know. I guess she’ll come around.”

“Tony...” Peter didn’t even know what to say, he didn’t even know how to feel, what to feel. _Should_ he feel something? Did that information even mean anything to him? He just stared at the older man as he kept talking.

“I just wanna say, I’m a free man, now – I mean, you know, a divorced man. I still have my daughter to think about and I hope you understand that she comes first – she always will. But I’ll have a lot of time to – you know.” He averted his gaze for a few seconds, but soon looked back at the younger man with earnest. “Make you happy.”

“Yeah?” Peter was still a little dazed, but things were just starting to make a little more sense. Tony wanted to make him happy, he wanted to – be with him? Continue being friends? Peter was still a little lost, he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he was fairly certain that the older man was actually asking to get back together.

“Yeah, trust me, I’m a doctor.” As he stared at the older man’s eyes, the doubts started to fade away. He could see what Tony meant, what he wanted to say. He wasn’t really good at reading people, but over the years he became an expert on Tony’s body language, the older man wasn’t big on sharing his secrets. So at that moment, he could hear what he didn’t say – loud and clear. But it wasn’t enough.

“Look, Tony, I hate to burst your bubble, but if you want me back, you’re gonna have to ask nicer than that. A lot nicer.” He actually smirked at the older man, but his heart was pounding against his ribcage with so much force that he was afraid it was gonna break. He didn’t have to worry for long, though, soon Tony nodded with an amused smile. He grabbed the younger man’s hand and moved closer to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry I was such an egotistical dick for all this time. I wanted to have it all, you know – I wanted Morgan to grow up with a healthy family and a present father; I wanted to lead my company in a direction that I could be proud of, I wanted to try to make this world a better place for my daughter; and I also wanted to be with you, I really did. As I tried to do all of this at the same time, I made us both miserable, and none of this was your burden to bear, but I put it on your shoulders anyway.” He closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“What I’m trying to say is – number one, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this, you deserved to be happy from day one. I’m sorry I ever made you unhappy – and I know it was all my fault, there’s no sugar coating it. Number two – I love you. I’ve loved for years now, I just didn’t have the balls to do the right thing before, but I do now. And I understand that it’s been a long time for you, and that you’ve been with other people, and that you probably don’t feel the same way anymore, bu –“ If Peter had been in the state of mind to make references to really old movies, he would have said: _you had me at ‘I_ _love you_ _’._ Instead, he crushed his lips against Tony’s and hoped to convey his feelings in a way that no words ever could.

Just like being held by Tony felt months earlier, kissing him was also familiar and so very right, no matter how wrong it should have felt in the past. Peter allowed himself for what he thought was the first time to kiss Tony slowly, as slowly as he could go without stopping completely, relishing the feeling of having so much beautiful time. The older man indulged him, he let him lead and, for once, he let Peter take what he needed, not the other way around.

“I love you, Tony.” Those words were spoken almost directly into Tony’s mouth and the older man swallowed them like they were all the nourishment he needed. “But I need this to be real. I need _us_ to be real. I want to tell my aunt and my friends, and I want you to tell your family and friends, too, I don’t wanna be a secret. Are you ready for this? Are you willing to do it? Because this is non-negotiable for me.”

“Yes, of course, no secrets.” Tony tucked a stray curl behind Peter’s ear, watching as he closed his eyes and leaned slightly into the touch. “I wanna spend my whole life making it up to you. I’m gonna make you so happy, baby, I promise. I’m gonna take such good care of you, if you let me.”

Peter never felt entitled to anything Tony wanted to give him, he never accepted anything from him except for his time, and he didn’t even feel like he deserved that. He didn’t accept help of any kind, he didn’t accept his gifts, his money, his influence to get internships, jobs, anything. His whole adult life, ever since he left May’s apartment, he had been doing everything on his on, going about his life alone. Truth was, at twenty seven, he was getting a little tired of the whole lonely wolf thing. He really wanted to be taken care of – just like he wanted to take care of Tony.

“Only if you let me take care of you, too.” He smiled softly and the older man grinned, pulling him closer into his arms and kissing the top of his head.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, kid.”

\---

**12-01-2021 – 07 years**

“Gotta give it to you, babe, the blue ornaments do compliment the red ones nicely.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest, admiring their tree with great interest as Peter stood beside him, humming as well. “I mean, I wish there was more gold, but I guess this is nice too.”

“We can add a little more gold, if you want, but I think it’s perfect.” Peter answered with a grave voice, even though he was amused by how seriously Tony could take Christmas trees decoration, really.

“ _You’re_ perfect, baby.” The older man wrapped an arm around Peter’s waist and kissed his temple warmly, making his lover giggle.

“Very cute, but you’re still doing the dishes tonight.” Peter poked him lightly in the ribs, the older man had been complaining about doing the dishes all afternoon, he kept saying that he could build robots to do it, or hire a cleaning staff, but Peter just insisted that doing house chores was an important example to set for Morgan.

“And you’re still perfect.” Tony planted yet another kiss on his temple.

“Really, Tony? Are we _that_ kinda couple now?” Peter turned towards the older man, who unashamedly held him by the waist and nuzzled his neck, making him giggle again. “You’re such a sap.”

“I have a lot to say in my defense – number one, we’ve always been that kinda couple. Number two, I do think you’re perfect, I should be allowed to say it whenever I want, I’m Tony Stark, deal with it.”

“Oh, I’m dealing with it alright, come here, Mr. Stark.” He pulled Tony closer by the back of his neck and he went willingly, a soft smile playing on his lips as he kissed Peter gently at first, before snaking his hands under his soft sweater. “Ok, ok, let’s not get too carried away.” Peter giggled, batting Tony’s hands away from his hips, to which he received an angry pout. “Don’t give me that look, Morgan’s gonna be here any minute and I would rather she didn’t find us naked. Besides, I gotta swing by the apartment to do some laundry, grab a few clothes, maybe do some cleaning… I’ll be back in the evening, I can cook you guys some dinner.”

“Oh, honey, nobody wants that.” Tony winced and then laughed loudly when Peter swatted him over the head.

“Fuck you, too. And because of that, you’re doing the dishes tomorrow, too.” Tony groaned, but before he could start complaining, the younger man cut him off. “I gotta go, now. I’ll be back in time for dinner and then we can go to the lab and finish that robot with Morgan. I think this one’s supposed to fly, right?”

“Hey, you know what?” Tony ran a hand through Peter’s soft locks, looking at his curls instead of his face. “Leave it for tomorrow. Morgan and I can come with you and help you pack everything. I could send a cleaning crew on Monday and you could give your keys back to the landlord on Tuesday.”

“Tony… What are you saying? We’ve talked about this, young man, you’ve gotta use your words properly, like a big boy.” He poked the older man’s ribs playfully.

“Such a fucking brat. I’m asking you to move in with me.”He held the younger man’s head between his hands and kissed the tip of his nose. “And I mean officially, because you already live here, what were we thinking?”

“What were _you_ thinking, because _I_ ’ve been dropping hints and moving my stuff here for months now. I literally don’t even have a bed back at the apartment anymore.” Peter smirked at the older man, who looked at him with a shocked expression on his face.

“Are you telling me you manipulated me into asking you to move in?” He asked with a fake gasp and a dramatic hand to the chest, making Peter giggle. “What a little minx!” Tony tickled his midsection, making the younger man squeal and fall to the couch as he tried to get away from the quick fingers and Tony fell right on top of him, still poking his ribs.

“You guys are so gross.” They both stopped immediately and raised their bodies a little to look over the couch, and just a few feet away from them Morgan stood with an amused little smile on her face. “Hey, dad, Uncle Pete.”

“Hi, Maguna!” Tony answered almost at the same time as Peter said “Hey, Pumpkin.”

“Why are you wearing these ugly sweaters?” She stared at their matching reindeer sweaters with fake disgust and Peter actually felt offended.

“They’re cute!” He answered defensively and heard Tony laughing above him and whispering _‘they’re really not, sweetie’_ , before he buried his head in his neck trying to contain the laughter.

“You’re both so lame.” Morgan rolled her eyes at them – it was a thing now, she had just turned twelve and she thought she was all grown up and all of their jokes were met with eye-rolls, even if her lips were clearly twitching, fighting off a smile.“I’m gonna go drop my stuff in my room, can we go down to the lab after? Pretty please?”

“Did you have anything to eat?” Peter asked, sitting back on the couch as soon as Tony let him up and did the same beside him.

“Yes!” She answered eagerly.

“Did you do all your homework?” She nodded quickly. “Will you help your father with the dishes after dinner tonight?” She nodded again, a lot less enthusiastically. “Do you think I’m cool?” Peter batted his eyelashes at her, smiling sweetly, but she frowned at him.

“Should I lie, or…?”

“Get outta here, you little –!” He threw a pillow at her just as she started running off, giggling, and he laughed as well as Tony pulled him closer on the couch, nuzzling his neck. “You need to teach that kid some manners!”

“You do it, I’m the cool dad, you can be the _lame_ parental figure.” He grinned impishly and Peter slapped him on the arm, muttering that she called them _both_ lame. His face softened slightly as he placed a chaste kiss on the younger man’s lips. “Thanks for taking such good care of her. Of us.”

“Well, it’s not like I have any other options, I’m pretty sure you guys would have blown up the house by now if I didn’t.” He teased, but returned the older man’s smile, stroking his cheek. “This is the happiest I have ever been.”

“We’re just getting started, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, theere! Did you enjoy the ride? Yes, no? Leave me a comment down bellow, let me know what you think so I can do better next time! Thanks for reading the whole thing <3


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